I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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