epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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