he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
