So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think my moral compass just broke
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