I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My ass is underappreciated
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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