Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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