I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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