dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up under a house in Key West
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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