Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There r osticjed everywhere
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
