I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
