hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have fence marks all over my body
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
