were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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