Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
FUCK WHALES
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
