"it" just moved
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
