I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
