ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
