She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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