i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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