Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
