Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
