I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
