he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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