i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
did i walk over a car last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
