Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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