Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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