No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
