Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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