I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
it glows. i had to have it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
