So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
