NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
