just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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