I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
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