Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
did i walk over a car last night?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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