When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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