the new term for farting is butt boxing.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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