if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
