Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
