Me. At least after what I've been through.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Randomize