You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize