According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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