I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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