i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
