So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
