If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
