I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
