I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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