oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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