I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
