: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
