My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
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