I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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