I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
