you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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