Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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