his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
