the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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