so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
