I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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