i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
