I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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