No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My vagina is officially offended.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
